I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
