yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
