...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
