playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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