my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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