i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize