I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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