Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
