real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
