should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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