She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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