this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize