My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
