Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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