Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Who wears a wallet chain?!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
