thus making me awesome and them whores
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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