Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
