we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
