im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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