I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
