I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
