woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
