Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
