2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
