i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
