Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm at about main and main street
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
