My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
