Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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