Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
