??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
