mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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