So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
