I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
