we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
