i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
