I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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