He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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