My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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