I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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