I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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