Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
