Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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