jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize