If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
