to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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