Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
