When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
