do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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