he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
