I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
