i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
