My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
