oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
