i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize