16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
