i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
