Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
