You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
