I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
