Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
